poisonedblood | (no subject)

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[I'm sorry.

A reunion cut off. The smell of blood in the air, staining a knife. She didn't want to do it. She really didn't. But she'd had no choice in the matter, no choice after the terrible truth of her family, her heritage, came to light. Knowing what he did, knowing what he would continue to do...

I'm sorry.

The words are caught in her throat. Everything is so surreal. She can feel his blood on her because she made her move when he embraced her. She had run away, after all, and finally come back. He wouldn't suspect her, and now she's paying for it. The tears are staining her cheeks as, slowly, what she's done sinks in.

I'm sorry.

The knife clatters to the ground as she finally registers what's going on. the words still won't escape, like something had bound them there to die in her throat no matter how much she wants to speak. She's... What can you call it at this point? She's a demon, a murder, she's done something terrible.

Just. Like. Him.]

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... He was offered a sword... and the demon that lived in that sword... pitied him enough to offer him power, in exchange for his soul. The ability to... be loved... to be that little dog. All he had to do was give it something... he figured he didn't even have.

[ After all, why would a terrible monster need a soul? It hurts so much, but he doesn't care. He will say what must be said... he will do what must be done. He cannot die yet. He is not allowed... to die yet... ]

... I love you, but... there's nothing you could have done any differently. Because no matter what you do to the outside... a monster is still a monster, and it will always be a monster, no matter how it behaves... to try and act any differently is foolish. The only thing he could do is trick everyone... maybe even himself. To tell himself, even briefly, maybe even something... as hideous as... he was... could be loved...

You're wrong, you're wrong!

[She's saying it without thinking, holding him tighter. Maybe, maybe, if she holds him tight enough, he won't die. He'll live and things can go back to how they were and that terrible woman won't ever bother her again.]

You are loved! You are! Because I love you because you're my father and-- And--

[And I made a horrible mistake. I want to take it back, I want it to have never happened.]

[ .... He'll... run a hand through her beautiful hair, smiling. ]

You love me due to obligation. You love me because I made sure you would. ... But, even though I am a demon, I do love you, and your mother, you know... you're... the only good thing I brought into this world, with my horrible gift. I... won't let you suffer because of me... somehow, a monster gave the world an angel... and I don't want to see her wings torn away.

[ He will... remove the sword from his belt. It's all he has left, at this point. He will make sure she's separated from him, then... he'll take it and, one last time, plunge it into his body.

... It hurts, yes. This time... this time won't be like last time... purple spilling all over. He will... take one hand and reach out to her, brush her cheek with it... and the colors of her eyes will change to a beautiful brilliant blue, instead. Her hair is green... she could pass as someone else easily enough. The women... won't remember her being his. He still has power enough to make sure of that. And they ARE connected to him until it's all gone, so he can do that. And he can make sure her mother... remembers having her, with someone else... so she... won't be alone...

The Demon of Lust is amused by his desire. Sure, why not? In the end, Venomania himself knows he's not going anywhere, not when his soul is already in the hands of Lust itself. And... that's it. He can't recover from this, the sword will only help him a little. His power is leaving him completely with that blood, red and purple mixing together. Poison... nothing but poison...

And, just like that, his visage is broken, like his enchantments; he can't pretend to even remotely look like his brother anymore, though he'll at least let his hair down so the awful... mark of his being a monster isn't visible. He will choke and cough, but smile. He's... this was all that could have happened. It had to happen... ]

[No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no he can't be doing this he can't be dying he can't be leaving her. Even as he changes her eyes to a beautiful blue, she will... Hold him close, sobbing as she does so. She... Doesn't care what he looks like. He's wrong. It's not obligation. Not because she has to. He was... So good to her.]

Don't leave me. Please.

[ ... He's... not got long, no. That key is... impossible to be rid of. It's--the only thing that could kill a demon, a Vessel of Sin. Hah... how clever... to get it again... ]

... Demetria. Your mother is going to... need your help... shouldn't you go make sure she's okay?

[ He doesn't really want her to see him die, ahahaha. It's... he's so tired. Maybe that awful, insatiable feeling will finally leave, with this. ]

She... needs... you.

I need you.

[It's not fair it's that horrible woman's fault it's all her fault. But Tria refuses to leave. She wants to be with him until the end because she... He doesn't deserve to be alone, at the very least. He at least deserves to know someone loved him enough to be there.]

...I don't know what I'll do now. I... I always had you guiding me.

[ ...... He will sigh. ]

You... have to do things on your own. I manipulated you, Tria. I did it on purpose. You need me like you need a hole in your head.

[ He does love her, he does, but he wants her not to dwell on him... ]

B... esides... it would've just... kept... happening...

[ Because he... can't stop. He couldn't ever hope to stop... he's... so tired. Most of his blood must be on the floor by now, rather than in him. He's barely breathing. Every word is a struggle, enunciated poorly, a sort of half-whisper. Being stabbed in the heart does that, and he only deepened the wound, really, when he used the blade, but it would inject enough Bloodlust back into him temporarily so he could... do what he needed to, for her... ]

Be your... own woman. Take... care of... your mother...

[ ... He can't do anything anymore. The last thing he does is... make sure he's falling downward, so that no one can see his face. No one... can know... that the monster on the inside... matched the outside, too. ]

[She screams her throat raw after he's gone. And she sobs for a long time. It's... Really only luck no one finds her. Her mother must be looking for her. It takes a little bit, but finally, finally, she's able to leave him. But he doesn't leave her, not entirely. He never will, and his death will haunt her. Weeks, years even. She and her mother will "return" the Elphegort. They will live there and eventually, things will settle. Gumina will marry. She will have a younger sibling. But nothing erases or truly eases the pain. She spends a lot of time alone and being quiet, in places where, if she needs to, she can just break down and cry. Because even as she gets better, even as she comes to function afterwards... It's still her biggest regret.

Demetria will never truly recover from the events that took place in her old home that night.]

[ ... He might be dead, but he watches. He can do that. She... has bloodlust in her... so, someone like him can... at least do that much.

There are little things he can do. Tiny, tiny things. Try his best to make sure she's at least able to recover... and oh, he tries. He does try.

And, one day, she might find a purple rose on her bed. In fact, every week, she might find some kind of purple flower somewhere nearby. It's really not much, but... he forgives her. Really... he does... but it's hard to even find the dreams of someone so deeply affected as she was. If he can't get there, he can't hope to help her...

The best chance he has is on the anniversary of the event itself; that's all he can do. And finally, finally, he is able to find her dreams--it is certainly exhausting. For someone without a soul, projecting like this is... well, hard, but he has to... for her. It's a simple thing, holding a purple flower for her, but... she should know. He can't exactly think of where to begin, this is all his fault... ]

[She didn't expect him. But here he is, offering her a flower. She quietly takes it, and already the tears are starting. She just doesn't realize it yet.]

...Father.

[ ... He has to do something. He has to... she can't live like this. ]

... You can't go on living like this... just because of me. You deserve better than what you're doing, Demetria.

...I'm lost without you. I don't... Know what to do anymore.

[And it hurts. She wants to scream. Why does no one else miss him? All she hears is how terrible he was, how he was a demon, a monster, but no... she has so many memories of him that are good. Like when she was little and there was a big storm, he'd bring her to sleep between him and her mother so they could protect her. Or the time he took care of a scraped knee. Or how he bought her new books every birthday and pressed a flower between the pages--a new one every year, and then he'd tell her about it and they'd sit under a tree or by a window if it was raining, just the two of them.]

[ ... He loves her, so much. His gaze is soft, caring. The same one he always gave her, ever since she was small. ]

... I'm sorry. It's my fault. It was... always my fault, really...

[ But that isn't going to fix things. So he will... come and take her hand into his own. ]

You can't... live for someone else. It has to be for yourself. That... is not selfish. It's not wrong, to go try to find happiness. ... Whatever they say... it isn't wrong, but it doesn't mean what you remember is wrong, either. It's not your job to defend me, nor is it your duty to mourn my foolishness. I was a slave to impulse... but Tria. There is so much you could do. So much good... I know. I can see it...

...I know, I know, but I... I miss you, so much.

[There aren't those little touches anymore. Those tiny little things he did. And there never will be again. Her step-father... He's not a bad man, but she was already sixteen when her mother remarried. He's awkward around her, more interested in his own child. She feels an outsider at times.]

... I can't be there for you physically, but that doesn't mean I'm not watching. You are very special, Demetria. More than I think you might possibly hope to understand. And some day, you'll see why. But it's because of that I can see you at all.

[ He won't lie; it's hard. She doesn't have the sword, to begin with. They're too far apart. But he will bring her close, because this is as close as he'll ever be able to get. At least he can still feel warmth, like this. ]

And I notice a girl struggling to find her place. But, believe me, it's there. This world needs you. ... No, I need you... your blood is very special... it's nothing to do with lineage. There will only ever be one of you, Tria. But as long as you're alive, you have a place. You were brought into this world... because there was nothing we wanted more than you. ... And I will be with you, as long as your heart still beats.

I don't know where to go or what to do, Papa. It hurts that everyone says nothing but awful things about you, that they don't talk about what good you did.

[Ah, she's sobbing now. She's so lost, she just wants her father. She feels so small and afraid and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to find her place.]

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[She screams. She screams so loud and long that she doesn't even realize, at first, that she's sitting up in her bed, blood-free and perfectly okay and that all of it, all of it, was a horrible dream. After a moment, after she's stopped screaming... She breaks down into sobs. She doesn't care if she alarmed anyone, she just... Has to sob because that dream. It was so real, so... So real. She doesn't care right now what a monster her father is. She's terrified of that future, of how bleak and miserable it is.]

[ ... No, no, no. It was not just a horrible dream, and she will hear a quiet whisper in the darkness, like a snake curled around her mind, voice silky but concerned. ]

There is so little you understand... is that the sort of future you want? It doesn't have to all be a tragedy. ... It's not fair to continue the cycle of his family losing parents.

B-But he... He's still going to--to take more women and... And...

[This makes it even more unclear. What should she do, what should she do? Who is this, anyway, and why is their voice oddly soothing?]

And you would sooner kill him for it? Do two wrongs make a right? Admit it--you've been trying to make this black and white because it's easier to cope with.

[ He isn't stupid. He can tell. This child... she needs her eyes opened. ]

I just... I don't know what to do.

[She can't deal with letting it continue. But she knows she can't just march on ahead, either.]

And what of you, my child?

[ Ah, he sounds so very amused. Because he is... there is opportunity here. But, more than that... he does want to help her, in his own way. ]

I don't know, I don't know...!

[Ugh, what does she do!? There doesn't seem to be any way to go. She can be complacent but then he'd still be doing terrible things. She can leave, but it would end up like that nightmare and then what. She doesn't have the heart to kill herself--that would devastate both of her parents.]

... You're so worried about the ones he's taken... yes, they HAVE suffered enough... why not fight fire with fire, then? If you want so very badly to save those women, you are more than capable, my dear.

[ And it's so true... ah, is she... ]

There is quite a lot he never told you.