poisonedblood | (no subject)

(no subject)

[I'm sorry.

A reunion cut off. The smell of blood in the air, staining a knife. She didn't want to do it. She really didn't. But she'd had no choice in the matter, no choice after the terrible truth of her family, her heritage, came to light. Knowing what he did, knowing what he would continue to do...

I'm sorry.

The words are caught in her throat. Everything is so surreal. She can feel his blood on her because she made her move when he embraced her. She had run away, after all, and finally come back. He wouldn't suspect her, and now she's paying for it. The tears are staining her cheeks as, slowly, what she's done sinks in.

I'm sorry.

The knife clatters to the ground as she finally registers what's going on. the words still won't escape, like something had bound them there to die in her throat no matter how much she wants to speak. She's... What can you call it at this point? She's a demon, a murder, she's done something terrible.

Just. Like. Him.]

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...I know, I know, but I... I miss you, so much.

[There aren't those little touches anymore. Those tiny little things he did. And there never will be again. Her step-father... He's not a bad man, but she was already sixteen when her mother remarried. He's awkward around her, more interested in his own child. She feels an outsider at times.]

... I can't be there for you physically, but that doesn't mean I'm not watching. You are very special, Demetria. More than I think you might possibly hope to understand. And some day, you'll see why. But it's because of that I can see you at all.

[ He won't lie; it's hard. She doesn't have the sword, to begin with. They're too far apart. But he will bring her close, because this is as close as he'll ever be able to get. At least he can still feel warmth, like this. ]

And I notice a girl struggling to find her place. But, believe me, it's there. This world needs you. ... No, I need you... your blood is very special... it's nothing to do with lineage. There will only ever be one of you, Tria. But as long as you're alive, you have a place. You were brought into this world... because there was nothing we wanted more than you. ... And I will be with you, as long as your heart still beats.

I don't know where to go or what to do, Papa. It hurts that everyone says nothing but awful things about you, that they don't talk about what good you did.

[Ah, she's sobbing now. She's so lost, she just wants her father. She feels so small and afraid and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to find her place.]

[ ... He'll bring her close to him. It's... okay... it's okay. Ah, how could he tell her now what he's done to her...? He can't, he can't. That is... when the moment is right, it has to be safe. She's young, right now... ]

I know. I know that right now, everything seems... pointless and confusing. But, believe me. It will change. It will get better. I want you to find someone who will love you... I want you to do anything you can. Think about the things you enjoy. I know a very smart young girl who could use that mind of hers for a lot more than she realizes.

[His words are... Comforting. But she's still going to cry. She hadn't really been allowed to grieve, after all. People would have been suspicious. Even now, they only assume her tendency to wear black is because of the "horrible" ordeal where she and her mother were "kidnapped" and made to be a picture-perfect family. But it's not the truth. She loves him, loves her father so dearly.]

[ That's okay. She can cry. She should... be allowed to, really. It's not fair he's done this to her... what a terrible fool he'd been, thinking just having her would somehow make everything better. No, it only... brought her a life she didn't ask for. If he'd been smart, he'd've given her away, made sure she had a better family. A safe family.

... But he'd been so selfish. And, after seeing what she was... he had to protect her...

So he will hold her. It's all he can do. ... He's never had much control over anything, anyway. He supposes he should be accustomed to this. ]

[Eventually, the tears slow down. She hiccups a few times. But she's much quieter than she was.]

...What do you want me to do...?

[ Oh, he does love her. She's... such a good daughter. If only his love had been... something less like slowly eroding poison. He fed off of her, in his own way, and he knew he had to, he'd had no choice, but... but he...

... He loves her...

He wants her to just be there, to smile... ]

... You cannot go on thinking only of me, Demetria... this is very important. I know... I did a lot of terrible things. I'm not going to ask you to forgive me for them. But you are... the only thing I did right. And... you must promise me you will never give up. Please. Just... no matter what happens, you must live for yourself. You are more than my daughter... no matter what happens, I only ask that you smile...

...All right. I... I'll try.

[She's not sure she can ever smile. She really isn't. But she can try, for him. It's... All she can really do.]

[ ... He truly loves her, and it's because of this that he will slowly run a hand over her hair, and give her a kiss on the forehead. He'll hold her nice and tight. And he will smile at her, gently. Brushing away the remaining tears... ]

... Demetria. My sweet... my flower. You are the most important thing to ever happen to me... your mother means the world to me, but you mean the universe. I am asking the hardest things of you, but that you are promising to even try is... so very brave.

I... will not leave you entirely. There is little I can do, however. Right now... you're a little too far away. Even so, I will not leave you. I promise. What may or may not be said... does not matter. You are my daughter. That you are safe is all I desire.

[ As long as Elluka has that sword, he won't be able to see her properly. Even this is stretching it too thin. But... she can't stay away from his daughter forever. He suspects she may not try... perhaps he could do something... ]

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